Okay, there are times when someone tells me something and I read into it what fits or what I want to hear at the time. Then there are other times, believe it or not, that I am really listening and I take in every word at face value. Those very special times when I am really paying attention and I don't read anything into what is being said, then later discover that I misunderstood what was said...well...that is baffling.
For the past 12 years I have been working on, around or with technology that allows two or more individuals to collaborate with images. Without giving away my age, I started testing the use of web-based collaboration around images using Netscape 0.87b. That seems like a century ago.
To make a very long history short, I have published a few peer reviewed articles, obtained Federal funding, filed patents and started a small business around the methods and processes for image collaboration and management. I know a little about the subject. For brevity's sake, we will refer the methods and processes as the collection
Recently, I have been engaged with two other parties that are interested in different aspects of the collection. Each party, for a variety of reasons has an agenda that is part of an overall strategy and does not necessarily match my own agenda. Therein lies the problem. So I have to pay extra careful attention when I engage in a dialog with the 'other' parties.
One can imagine my surprise and disbelief upon discovering that I misunderstood a simple sentence that consisted of 13 words. To protect the innocent, I will not repeat the sentence in this forum although it is tempting to do so. Needless to say, I alternated between anger and disbelief to discover that I had been manipulated in this manner by a former colleague and friend (oh grow up you say?) I reminded this individual that I have a mind like a steel trap (along with those X chromosomes) and I don't forget anything.
After the conversation, I kept going over the discussion in my head and analyzed the outcome with my colleagues after which I wondered if I did read something into that single sentence? Could I have forgotten something? I have to admit that I perseverated over the episode until someone who has no emotional attachment to the situation and no relationship to the ‘other’ parties made an observation to my business partner “This is a great opportunity for you! You can state that you did indeed misunderstand what was said and in turn, get a direct answer to the original question. This approach allows you to skip through the confusing rhetoric”. I like that!
What is the lesson here? Well I'll tell you. Don't react. Disengage on an emotional level. Say very little and get everything in writing.